Thursday, September 17, 2009

10 Signs of Midlife Crisis

1 Job Change:
This is a terrifying early warning sign that meltdown is imminent. When he comes home and announces he is leaving his 30-year career in insurance to open a home-brew supply business, you know you're in for a bumpy ride.

2 Death-defying behaviour:
And potentially widow-making. This is when he comes home and announces he is going to take up rally driving/BASE-jumping/big wave surfing. "Life is short," he philosophises. "I don't want to die without ever having thrown myself off a cliff."

3 Grooming:
When one day he looks in the mirror and sees some old guy looking back at him. Eeeek! He panics, ditches his trusty barber for a stylist who does highlights, books in for a back wax and buys a new wardrobe and some musky scent.

4 Reverting to twenties behaviour:
This classis attempt at recapturing lost youth usually involves the suddent desire to go to music concerts, drink excessively, and live on nothing but junk food and two-minute noodles. This will ultimately undo or lead to point 5.

5 Exercise frenzy:
He's at the gym three mornings a week and watches his reflection in the window as he lifts the new flat-screen out of the car. One of the few MLC symptoms to be encouraged.

6 Outrageous purchases:
You come home from work to find a Harley-Davidson Fat Boy/Hummer parked in the driveway and a 65-inch flat-screen TV installed in the shed. That money was supposed to last you until your were 90, but it's nice to see him smiling - for a change.

7 Flirting:
The old "have I still got it?" trap. It's a nagging question that leads many a man of a certain age to drop his voice an octave, lean casually on reception desks while flicking back his newly highlighted hair and say things like,"Let's hook up for a Cosmopolitan," to girls younger than his own daughter. Mostly harmless but can lead to over-inflated egos and/or arrest.

8 Seeking out old loves:
This is either in the obvious form of finding his first girlfriend on Facebook, rediscovering the rush of skateboarding or digging out his old amp and bass for a jam. This is a desperate attempt at reminding himself of who he used to be and why people liked him. Can lead to bouts of self-absorbed nostalgia and using words like "cool" a lot.

9 Irresponsibility:
He get the words "free spirit" tattooed across his shoulders, starts paying for everything on credit and stays up until 2am watching soccer.

10 Excessive reminiscing:
"Remember that time when the band played and we all stayed up all night drinking beer and talking about how one day we'd ... blah blah blah."

courtesy of Reader's Digest, August 2009

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Newbie Catch

On a day when all and sundry, and that includes yours truly, caught nothing - not even a bite - Yan Jean had every reason to grin from ear to ear with her very first catch, a peacock bass. She had everything against her: her rod was medium-action, she had no lures, she was using a 30 lb line, her old reel had malfunctioned.

This would have discouraged many a novice on their first outing but not her. Initially, she had WeiHao instruct her on the basics of luring in fresh water and as she whipped her first cast into the air, she cast (pun intended) her wary eyes around embarrassingly hoping no one would have noticed her short cast. After several such casts, her spinning reel jammed because of the backlash in her line. She sat quietly for half an hour at the edge of the water to sort out the 'birdnest', but the more she tried the worse it became. She finally decided to discard the line and use one of my reels with an 8 lb line.

From the legal spot, she moved surreptitiously to an illegal spot deeper in the forest with WeiHao, QiJian and Yeshun in tow, while I remained 'legal'. Half an hour later, I heard a commotion and when I turned around, Yan Jean and her male escorts returned and she proudly announced, "I have a fish!". After a round of congratulations and good wishes, I got her to pose with her first catch. Embarrassed at first - notice her expression in the second picture - we had to coax her to smile. By jolly, she really smiled. So, what did she do with her first catch? She gave it to a fellow fisho. Great catch, Yan Jean!